Tuesday, 26 February 2008

Big Night For The BNP's Caravaggio



If he's not too pissed, the BNP's very own Caravaggio Richard Barnbrook, should be donning his Asda suit, to explain himself at tomorrow's full Barking & Dagenham council meeting, where the BNP will unveil their pro-Apartheid slash and burn minority budget.


Barnbrook, an alleged thesbian and alcoholic, will be no doubt in full clown mode, using all of his mumbling and bumbling skills as the BNP out Tory the Tories in proposing cuts to services for the young and the aged.


Afterwards no doubt, the pathetic lush and his gaggle of knuckle dragging supporters will hole themselves up in a bar somewhere and have a fair go at pissing up the BNP's London Mayoral election funds.



9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anybody got the address of the Blackheath Bummer’s house in upmarket Blackheath? I’m curious to see if the light is on in Barnbrook’s head. I say this given that the Evening Standard’s article, ‘BNP’s dirty tricks in the scramble for votes’, states “At Mr Barnbrook's Blackheath address, the lights were on” whilst he was claiming to live at a derelict address in Barking in order to be eligible to stand as the BNP candidate in Barking and Dagenham.
http://www.stopthebnp.org.uk/index.php?location=news&art=381

Anonymous said...

Well everybody it’s official: Richard Barnbrook has been declared one of the Top 10 Conservative Idiots:

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/top10/244

Anonymous said...

Now that's what I call low-budget BNP homo-porn!

Oh man. As an Irishman living in England I have come to hold the BNP in the same regard as Sinn Fein - as a shower of fat obnoxious, fear-mongering, neanderthal-thick, tattooed scumbags hell-bent on re-creating a utopia which never existed in the first place.

So it was with considerbale amusement that I read a recent story in the news in which it emerged that Richard Barnbrook (of the BNP) once featured in a gay-porn flick. According to the Irish independent:

The film - HMS Discovery: A Love Story - includes long scenes of men undressing and fondling each other, including full-frontal nudity, naked men clawing passionately at each other's bodies while standing in a river, and a naked man apparently performing a sex act on another, according to the Evening Standard. In its election manifesto, the far-right BNP proposed a local vote so parents could decide if they want to 'prohibit the teaching of homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle choice'.

After laughing like a drain for about three hours, I had the sense to set P45ers' a challenge: name the very best BNP fag-porn so that we could collate the entries into one list. Ye know, for kids? And so, after some 3 hours of effort, here we have it:

Brokeback concentration camp. Thirty BNP heavies are incarcerated in a former cold war gulag (in sheffield) and arse-fucked to death by a gang of bad-boy london yardies. In the midst of the buggery, screaming and selected readings of 'mein camp-bastard' two men find an unlikely but touching love...

Bi-tanic. A love that dare not speak its name flowers between a man and a woman and another two men on a doomed nazi prison-ship.

Raiders of the lost arse. An elite group of BNP archaeologists set out in a desperate bid to retrieve the Ark of the Covenant from its' hidden location in Ethiopia before the nefarious Americans get there first. However, their epic journey is beset by troubles and adventure, most infamously in the 100-man cannibal gang-bang in a big pot 'o vaseline scene.

The Brown Mile. As part of an experimental trans-atlantic programme for criminal rehabilitation, a select band of renegade Combat 18 jail-birds get sent to 'Bubbas' Bum Palace and Hoosegow Penitentiary' in Fort Worth Texas, where they must face the ordeal of trial by "Unga-Bunga".

White men Can't Jump each other. A BNP training video explaining why members should leave the bum lovin' to the lesser races.

Carrion Kampfing. Mincing nazis bugger corpses.

Black Hunter White Arse. A tale of a true British man's quest for anal integrity in the African Jungle. May contain nuts.

Das Booty. A moist damp tale of seamen diving into the unknown. Salty.

Mutton-dagger doppelganger. Whilst on duty in Iraq, a chance buggering from a prodigiously-membered Taleban scholar leaves Eric, a young soldier and BNP member, feeling bereft and alone. Now it's three years later and Erics' life has descended into a drug-fuelled search for a big-black cock that can tickle his little crevices.

The Hunt for White October. An epic tale of heroism and romance on board the BNP submarine White October which is relentlessy pursued by the Submarine killer HMS Integration. Cringe as the ass virgin's whimpering alerts the enemy sonar-men, cheer as John Smith empties his torpedo tubes...

The Great Asscape. Several hundred Allied POWs plan a mass escape from a German POW (Poof Of War) camp. During routine exercise time the poofs execute a daring plan to tunnel through the dirt under a jumphorse. Flight Lt. Sandy MacDonald starts out butt can't quite make it over the horse, Chalky Rogers comes over to help from behind...

Bulbous Bags stars in Bored of the Rings! A sad tale of a jaded BNP queen, who has shagged his way through the finest of British elvish manhood, but cannot get rid of the ennui. Watch as he grasps Gandalf's wand. Cheer as he buggers Arrahorn (half-elf, half-Kerryman). Not even athletic rimfucking from Legoverass can satisfy him. A quick session with Gobblem does nothing.

British History XXX. A powerful moving tale of British nazi, sent to prison for murder and the unlikey love that springs up as he and a black man redeem each other while cleaning the underpants of the other prisoners. In the end he learns, true love is colourblind. And that he should have used some lube.

Who creamed Richard Barnbrook? Semi-animated romp in which BNP councillors and their cartoon friends try to "get to the bottom" of the mystery of who "creamed" Richard Barnbrook. Starring Richard Barnbrook as himself, with Bums Buddies, Deputy Dong, Milky Mouse and Droopy.

No Platform said...

That's so good, I'm gonna make it a post! (Might need to clean it up a bit first)

Anonymous said...

The following is from Rodney Croome’s blog:

----------------------------------

Can’t you just picture the "Little Britain" take…

"Steven? It’s Linda.

"There’s a student here who’d like an extension on his "sexuality-in-film" assignment.

"Name’s Richard, Richard Barnbrook.

"You know, shaved head, wears army gear, angry expression.

"That’s right, the Nazi nutter."

http://www.rodneycroome.id.au/weblog?id=C0_36_1

Anonymous said...

http://www.queerty.com/queer/politics/conservative-uk-politician-caught-in-gay-porn-scandal-20060511.php

Conservative UK Politician Caught In Gay Porn Scandal

It's not really all the penises that have British National Party (BNP) councillor Richard Barnbrook sitting in hot water, but the sheer "liberalness" of it all. The BNP is a conversative party in the UK that has "wiping out homosexuality" among its list of platform goals.

As a member of the party, Mr. Barnbrook's politics seem to have shifted quite a bit since the 1980s when he made a student film he then described as “Marxist gay cinema from conceptual artist Barnbrook.” So not only did have naked guys touching each other, but also Marxist undertones, which means he made quite a 180 degree shift in point of view.

But the reason we are posting this item is not because it's the most interesting story, but because Mr. Barnbrook's script was pure poetry. These are words for the ages:

"A harsh scowl masks your smile, but weakens when your nakedness inspires.

It bares you like a foreskin's folds ... you will make of yourself a beauty, hard as rusting trucks and slag.

Fists in a toilet that smells of piss ... open-mouthed, I shall dream of altar-boys."

Fists! Toilets! Altar boys! So much controversy is packed into those few lines; we would love to hear his artist's statement.

Anonymous said...

Do we really need Richard Barnbrook and the BNP in charge of London? I just read Nick Ryan’s article (‘Alien nations’, The Guardian, 10 December 2006) which details his time with Richard Barnbrook. I gotta say that Richard Barnbrook comes across as incompetent and comical (and it seems that the only place Barnbrook hangs out in is the pub).

Here are some snippets from the above article:

“My first sight of Richard Barnbrook, councillor for the ward, comes outside a pub”.

“Barnbrook is dressed in a beige suit; relaxed, legs sprawled outwards, flicking ash from a cigarette. He has a nonexistent upper lip and button nose and a neat, old-fashioned haircut. An official councillor's badge is pinned to his lapel, an imitation-leather council briefcase clutched to his lap. 'I've been told about you,' he quips. 'They told me, you know, to be careful. That you know Searchlight’”.

“But not, he claims suddenly, a national socialist. He laughs nervously. 'No, no, I'm just joking! Ha ha ha ha!”

“Yet he [Richard Barnbrook] now finds such actions [i.e. homosexuality] disgusting. 'People in the party have asked me, "Richard, are you gay?" No, I am not. "Did you bugger people?" No, I did not’”.

“The next time I meet Richard Barnbrook, we have moved to Upney, and the giant white-washed surrounds of the Roundhouse pub”.

“Barnbrook offers to take me to the surrounding estates to meet BNP supporters. There is a surreal atmosphere in Rustem's car. The two men argue as Barnbrook's dyslexia leads us to take one wrong turn after another. An Elvis figure jiggles on the dashboard; the King blasts through the speakers”.

“More recently, Barnbrook was spotted running from an irate member of the public after being overheard during a media interview stating that he did not believe in mixed-race relationships. Only a week later, he is also apologising for absences in council chambers, the party appearing to split locally”.

Anonymous said...

If anon believes that Dicky is only slightly comical he should have been in the council chamber on Wednesday evening when the Diva tried to deliver their "Alternative" budget laugh, i couldnt stop.


tulip

Anonymous said...

Just to bring you up todate, at the end of his performance Members were still trying to get him to answer questions, he said if they were to send them to him by email he would respond in full.

Members duly submitted their detailed questions within 48 hours.

Insider has just been informed that Dicky finally responded yesterday (Monday) telling members they would get a response in 5 days.

Obviously he needs to work himself up for this.